a multiplayer game of parenting and civilization building
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In regards to the rest of the thread, by the way,
Spoon: Huge tip for you right here: learn this! Learn this well for the rest of your life!
When someone insults you, or says something to make you feel small, never, EVER use logic to refute it! What are you trying to do? Convince them not to attack you? They already are. It's not about logic. They don't care.
They probably won't even listen. Such a person can be assumed, 90% of the time, to not care about being right. They just want to hurt you! That's not the move, so stop trying it. It isn't going to work any better than the other times you've tried it - such a move makes you look weak and invites further attacks, because you aren't responding with the correct response according to the rules of the game. It's a deflection, it's a non-answer.
There is a subtext to these words, and that subtext is that you are being challenged. If you choose to respond at all (and you don't have to; not responding makes them look like a loser) you have to say something devasting, not refute their challenge point by point. Responding in kind is the correct way to respond to the challenge. Just copy what people do.. and recognize that responding to the challenge means getting into some kind of fight, and be ready for that. copy and mirror the general category of the thing they are doing, making necessary changes as seems appropriate. that's a hugely effective tactic 80% of the time and humans are designed to work very well when we do that. So do that. Not the other thing.
Defending yourself with logic is zero defense and will only make you feel helpless and succeed in victimizing you further. Don't try to defend yourself by showing how smart you are - it literally makes you more vulnerable. Instead, attack them for being dumb. Don't defend, attack. Aim for their insecurities. Just try not to look like an asshole to everyone else when you hit back.
This tip is for real life. On the internet you can just turn your fuckin screen off and walk away. They literally are only just words, don't be afraid to treat them like it
You control what you allow into your life
Why are you guys having a flame war? What year is this?
Neptune, you're exactly as obsessive as you're accusing spoon of being, but your object of obsession is him.. Why? That's so weird. Leave him alone
Spoon, buddy, you gotta let it go. People behave logically, yes, but the logic you're applying to them isn't the logic they use to work. I suspect you know this, but you're fighting against it because it doesn't make sense and shouldn't exist. The bad news is, it actually makes plenty of sense, and is simply more complex than you realize. You have to learn that there is more data encoded in the words people use than just what the words imply. Much more, like, two or three whole layers. And what's more sometimes they firmly hold mutually exclusive beliefs, for totally valid reasons, and that sometimes they say one thing, and mean it, and yet will never act that way, but it wasn't a lie. People are just like that, you included. You just have to learn to work with that. You can't change it, and it's literally a waste of your time to try. For 85% of the population, 60% of the time, it is NOT possible to convince them they are wrong using logic. You have to use other tactics to get what you want. Dale Carnegie wrote a book on it that helps. The best tip is to show them how what they want is achieved by what you want. The tricky part is, you have to be right about what they want, and you're usually not going to get a straight answer to that, if you even get an answer at all.
Also, like, just a word of advice:
You can CHOOSE what you respond to. When someone calls you autistic on the internet, or, more generally, when they harass you, the best move is to completely ignore it. People on the internet can't beat you up for ignoring their harassment. They can just harass harder and then get banned for crossing the line.
So like, don't respond to that shit. Trust me. There's a block button, usually. Use it. Your life will improve when you stop trying to win approval from people who are only interested in making you feel bad. When you play that game with them, a victory scenario for you does not exist! "The only winning move is not to play".. don't be a rube! Don't play!
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